It has been becoming more and more apparant to me that most people dont view the world and life's purpose as I do. I have tried to remain opptimistic because I know what I was made to do, but no one wants to hear about. Everyone is too busy and when I choose to speak if I feel I have their ear they look at me as though I was a freak of nature or a sadly mentally ill child. I know things that are unexplainable. I see and understand the intangiable. All these things are right with me. I am more comfortable with what the world calls ''freakish'' or ''imagianary'', perhaps ''dislusional'' than what's considered normal. What is normal anyway?
Anyhow, I am searching for a mentor, a friend, someone that can share my views and teach me the ways of the Creator and of the Universe. Something far beyond the reaches of church and retuial. I am beginning to wonder if this even exsist. Perhps I am fucked up in the head and dislusional after all. I desire so many things and I know that I can be a special and original Light in a world that is dark and asleep. Why wont anyone help me? Why doesnt anyone believe me that I can see auras and hear and see spirits.? Why doesnt anyone know what to do with that information? I was told one night that I shouldnt share that with just anyone. And I dont. Maybe I made the wrong chioce in sharing that in the healing circle. I felt that I should get it out there. I feel ignored in every way by the people that I am drawn to the most. Once again just like when I was younger my gifts have seperated me from companionship that I long for so desperately. Everytime I experiance this, I die a little more inside. I am tired of dieing. I want to live and share what I know. I want a mentor. I want a teacher, so I may evolve to the Being that is trapped in my body. I want to show the world what my Creator made me to be. But to the world from the outside looking in, I am just a fat, dislusional lady desperately begging for attention and love in all the wrong places.
sorry for the typos. i am typing from my phone.
Anyhow, I am searching for a mentor, a friend, someone that can share my views and teach me the ways of the Creator and of the Universe. Something far beyond the reaches of church and retuial. I am beginning to wonder if this even exsist. Perhps I am fucked up in the head and dislusional after all. I desire so many things and I know that I can be a special and original Light in a world that is dark and asleep. Why wont anyone help me? Why doesnt anyone believe me that I can see auras and hear and see spirits.? Why doesnt anyone know what to do with that information? I was told one night that I shouldnt share that with just anyone. And I dont. Maybe I made the wrong chioce in sharing that in the healing circle. I felt that I should get it out there. I feel ignored in every way by the people that I am drawn to the most. Once again just like when I was younger my gifts have seperated me from companionship that I long for so desperately. Everytime I experiance this, I die a little more inside. I am tired of dieing. I want to live and share what I know. I want a mentor. I want a teacher, so I may evolve to the Being that is trapped in my body. I want to show the world what my Creator made me to be. But to the world from the outside looking in, I am just a fat, dislusional lady desperately begging for attention and love in all the wrong places.
sorry for the typos. i am typing from my phone.
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