Conversations With A Stranger

I would like to share with you, the reader, a conversation that I have had with a complete stranger.  This person has chosen to remain anonymous to me, however was brave enough to contact me through my blog.  The content that I have included is extremely edited for privacy on both ends.  These conversations have touched my heart and have boosted my beliefs of My Higher Purpose that God has for me.  I don't believe in coincidences.   


After a brief introduction, I asked this person if there was something that was needed to be said to me, since this person was the one that contacted me.  I encouraged this person to tell me or ask me whatever came to mind.

Anonymous said: 

"...to be honest with you I haven't truly wished for anything in awhile because in a lot of ways it seems that wishes don't come true. (However) if I could have a wish granted, I would wish for clarity and the courage to follow through (with) whatever path is clarified; if that makes sense. I crave to alleviate this inner emptiness,fear,doubt and pain.  I know I sound crazy but I'm just being honest. Right now, and lately, I've been taking trips to my past through my thoughts and over-analyzing all my mistakes. (So), enough depressing shit. What I really wish for right now is a cheeseburger; that sounds good."

I replied:

"As far as the depressing things....it's (good) to get them out.  You can tell me anything you want, whenever you want. However, I have to offer a bit of advice from experience.  The more you visit your past, the more real it will become.  The more you focus on your past mistakes and take trips there, the more you will bring them into your present life. Don't go there anymore.  It is "ok" to remember your mistakes (in efforts not to) make them again.  But (DO NOT) recreate them in your mind.  Visualization is a powerful thing. Visualize what you want in your life. Create it that in your mind and believe that you will have it.  These things take time and old habits are hard to break. Also, you crave to get rid your emptiness because it is The Creator's desire to fill it that void.  Whoever you believe The Creator is...let Him/Her/It in. I can help you with this. It is part of my Life Purpose and Gift from My Creator. But, I have to have your verbal permission.

(A a little note) (The) cheeseburger (statement was) funny. I don't eat beef anymore...but yes, sometimes I crave the same. So I eat a turkey or soy burger..."

After a brief silence for two days, I decided to take this person up to The Creator.  After my meditation and conversation with God; I wrote  back saying:

"I was praying and meditating with you in mind. I took my requests to the Creator and asked to show me what was missing in your life. I drifted down to earth in my mind's eye and saw you (in my mind's) ... I was not allowed to enter your space/aura. Then from your stomach area (solar plexus chakra) I heard this song....

''head has a hole, 

black as your soul, 

I would rather die, 

than give you control''   Lyrics to "Head Like A Hole" by Nine Inch Nails

I (have) always rocked out to that song (by Nine Inch Nails), but now it's power ...(has)... more meaning to me. I immediately left and went back to The Creator and requested that you be sent unconditional Love and that you would be shown what it was like not to have Hate and emptiness in your life. What is interesting about your solar plexus chakra singing this song is that this is the area (of your body) in which we carry our ego's. It is also the center of our Souls Power and Will. You might want to ask yourself what you are allowing to ''power'' you. If it is hate, pride, stubbornness, etc.....then you might want to reconsider a more ''filling'' food for your soul."

After thinking about what I knew about this song and looking at the original lyrics; it was Trent Reznor's (author of lyrics) intention to express his hatred for the traditional church and tithing. However, I am not 100% sure about that. This is what the song says to me. In addition, Reznor could be saying that he isn't going to give into the greed of money and other dark entities and ideals that serve no purpose except for having control of others.  SongFacts: Opinions about song "Head Like A Hole" by Nine Inch Nails


Anonymous wrote back:

"What's weird about you're last e-mail is that I was listening to that song earlier in the day. (By the way), it's "head like a hole" (not "head has a hole"). *(Thanks for the correction Anonymous)*

I'd like to hear more about ... (the) solar plexus (and) ego ... "

[Anonymous then goes into a little detail about Hate & Protection beliefs and how it applies to Life]

"I realize I've made decisions that make me accepted by very few people but they are the decisions that I've made. I feel that there are many people that share my same veiws but either don't know (enough) or are too scared to stand up for them. (However), we'll talk (about that) later."

I wrote back:

"Here are my thoughts on this issue....

Love Vs. Hate

Hate Vs. Protection
(Definitions)( I have to define things first, to make more sense of it all, and because I am a nerd like that!)

Hate - to dislike intensely or passionately; feel extreme aversion for/or extreme hostility toward; to detest: to be unwilling (to love); to feel or have extreme aversion or hostility.

Protect - to cover or shield from exposure, injury, damage, or destruction, to guard and/or to defend

Love -  unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another:  affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests;  strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties.

So...if you Love someone or something...you cannot Hate it (or mix Hate with or near it) and you would instinctively desire to protect it from harm or destruction. However to mix a Hatred of something else in the Love of the object, idea or person would cancel out the Love and make the Protection weak.

Hatred is really Fear in disguise.

There are only three real emotions when it really boils down the root of the problem or circumstance. Love, Fear and Sorrow.  

The question is....

Do you want to act out of Love?

Do you want to act out of Fear?

Do you want to act our or Sorrow?

 ( Sorrow is a ""deep distress, sadness, or regret especially for the loss of someone or something loved"")

Sorrow is not just a sadness or depression. Sorrow is something that is natural and is resolved by Love with Time and Learning.

It does not benefit one's Being/Soul to Hate another person because of their race or cultural background.  Hate is unproductive and serves no higher purpose.  

With this Hate comes blame. (Blame is ""To find fault with, to hold responsible, to place responsibly on or for"") Blame is really Fear, as is Hate.  What is it that you really Fear?  The extinction of the ...?  Ok then...this a valid fear.  This is where you feel the need to Protect.  But remember you can't truly Protect without Love.

Until you learn to act out Love, no matter what your beliefs are about your HISTORY of your culture, you will find that you won't want to HATE another ... because it easier to LOVE them from afar while teaching yourself and your children that you think (and believe) is better to ... (text omitted).

However, in my readings, I have found that in HISTORY, ... (text omitted)...(some) origin('s) is (are) not firmly known (about)... and is considered a wider variety of ...(cultures)...  So HISTORY has, once again, been perverted because of HATE/FEAR.

So since we can't change HISTORY, we should only be responsible for ourselves (in our present lives).  We can change ourselves (for) future. So...

do you choose to live your life choosing LOVE? 

Do you choose to live your life choosing FEAR? 

Do you choose to live your life choosing SORROW?

I choose LOVE."

I haven't heard from Anonymous since my last message.

A Crazy Fat Lady

It has been becoming more and more apparant to me that most people dont view the world and life's purpose as I do. I have tried to remain opptimistic because I know what I was made to do, but no one wants to hear about. Everyone is too busy and when I choose to speak if I feel I have their ear they look at me as though I was a freak of nature or a sadly mentally ill child. I know things that are unexplainable. I see and understand the intangiable. All these things are right with me. I am more comfortable with what the world calls ''freakish'' or ''imagianary'', perhaps ''dislusional'' than what's considered normal. What is normal anyway?
Anyhow, I am searching for a mentor, a friend, someone that can share my views and teach me the ways of the Creator and of the Universe. Something far beyond the reaches of church and retuial. I am beginning to wonder if this even exsist. Perhps I am fucked up in the head and dislusional after all. I desire so many things and I know that I can be a special and original Light in a world that is dark and asleep. Why wont anyone help me? Why doesnt anyone believe me that I can see auras and hear and see spirits.? Why doesnt anyone know what to do with that information? I was told one night that I shouldnt share that with just anyone. And I dont. Maybe I made the wrong chioce in sharing that in the healing circle. I felt that I should get it out there. I feel ignored in every way by the people that I am drawn to the most. Once again just like when I was younger my gifts have seperated me from companionship that I long for so desperately. Everytime I experiance this, I die a little more inside. I am tired of dieing. I want to live and share what I know. I want a mentor. I want a teacher, so I may evolve to the Being that is trapped in my body. I want to show the world what my Creator made me to be. But to the world from the outside looking in, I am just a fat, dislusional lady desperately begging for attention and love in all the wrong places.
sorry for the typos. i am typing from my phone.

Be Still in Graditute For Life Preserved

As I watch and listen to the news of Bin Ladin's death, I feel moved as an American and proud of a wrong finally done right, but however I choose to remain still.  I don't feel that an outward celebration is right for my Being.  I choose to remain still in gratitude, in meditation, and prayer for our nation.  In this time it is important not to celebrate death but to celebrate Life in the respects that by Bin Ladin's death it has preserved other lives.  In addition it is important to remember what our country was founding on and the visions that our Founding Father's had.
Today, my gratitude, prayers, and energy to directed to our soldiers for their sacrifices, love for our country and over all dedication for the good of the cause.

While the storm clouds gather far across the sea,

 Let Us swear Allegiance to a Land that's free,

 Let Us All be grateful for a Land so fair,

As We raise our Voices in a Solemn Prayer.
God Bless America,
Land that I Love.
Stand beside Her, and guide Her
Through the Night with a Light from Above.
From the mountains, to the prairies,
To the oceans, white with foam
God bless America, My Home sweet Home.

A little piece of George W. Bush's speech to Joint Session of Congress on September 20, 2011.

"I will not forget this Wound to Our Country or those who inflicted it. I will not yield; I will not rest; I will not relent in waging this Struggle for Freedom and Security for the American people. The Course of this Conflict is not known, yet Its Outcome is certain. Freedom and Fear, Justice and Cruelty, have always been at war, and We KNOW that God is not neutral between them.

Fellow citizens, we'll meet Violence with Patient Justice -- assured of the Rightness of Our Cause, and Confident of the Victories to come. In all that lies before Us, may God grant Us Wisdom, and may He watch over the United States of America."

^{Pslams 46}

¹  God is our refuge and strength,
   an ever-present help in trouble.
² Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
   and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
³ though its waters roar and foam
   and the mountains quake with their surging.^[c]

 ⁴ There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
   the holy place where the Most High dwells.
⁵ God is within her, she will not fall;
   God will help her at break of day.
⁶ Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall;
   he lifts his voice, the earth melts.

 ⁷ The LORD Almighty is with us;
   the God of Jacob is our fortress.

 ⁸ Come and see what the LORD has done,
   the desolations he has brought on the earth.
⁹ He makes wars cease
   to the ends of the earth.
He breaks the bow and shatters the spear;
   he burns the shields^[d] with fire.
¹⁰ He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
   I will be exalted among the nations,
   I will be exalted in the earth.”

 ¹¹ The LORD Almighty is with us;
   the God of Jacob is our fortress.

My Thoughts On God And Love

My Thoughts of God and Love

March 9, 2011

In all stages of Life there always a search for Something.  Whether it is for an immediate need or for Something that the heart might desire. In the end, the main entity that is searched for the most is Love.  We search for Love in our families, in friendships, lovers, and even in the work place.  It is not until we start searching for Love within ourselves that we find what we are looking for. However we don’t find Love right away. We find sadness, remorse, anger, guilt and imperfection. Once we sort through all the unnecessary blockage, we find Forgiveness.  After Forgiveness, we find God. Through Forgiveness and God we find Self. Through Self in combination with God and Forgiveness we find True Love. We are Love because we are made in His Image. God is Love. Self is part of God. Self is Love. Love is God. To discover True Love we must discover Self in God and His Forgiveness.

February 2011

A song say’s “Heaven is on Its Way”…but it’s not an earthly understanding of Heaven. Sure, Yeshua is there, but we don’t really Know Him. Through Wisdom comes higher Learning, but this education doesn’t bring Wisdom by It self, until you mix Experience and failure with Wisdom and Learning.  Heaven is on Its Way, but it’s not like Michael Angelo painted it. Our minds weren’t created to understand Yeshua’s infinite Being that exist in this place called Heaven. We were meant for Love. A simple Learning of Love. However simple God’s Love, His mind is so complicated and is wasn’t meant for us to comprehend in an earthly conscientiousness. So…Heaven is on It’s Way; God is on His Way. Love is on It’s Way.

February 2011

I have learned that Love is not the Love that I imagined. Love is a feeling, yes, but it’s a forever progressing, forever growing ideal. Love is having admiration, respect, patience, compromise, affection, and willingness to work as One Unit. Love knows when to say “no”, having self preservation while giving sacrifice. Love is an Entity. Love is Alive. God is Love. God created us with Love, by Love. We are fearfully and wonderfully made with Love. God breathed His Breath to make us Alive.  The Breath of God is Love.  The Air we breathe everyday is God’s breath; His Gift of Love and Life.  We breathe Love. We breathe God.