Independence, Headaches, Orbs and Auras

Happy Fourth of July!!

I am infinitely grateful for America's Independence and Freedom as our Founding Fathers so dreamed of and planned. I celebrate this Ideal along with the men and woman that fought and sacrificed so graciously for.

It is a gloriously hot morning in here in Texas. The heat is ever so oppressive here and it brings the worst out of me and the kids.  Thank God for the pool!! The kids and I will be staying in the pool and under the comfort of the air conditioning with immense gratitude for my husbands hard work to make the money to pay for the outrageous electricity bill!! :)

****
So this is where I am going to change gears a bit and talk about some things that have been on my mind. (I am shifting out of reverse gear and going into first gear. Gotta back the car up to get out the parking space.)

Foremost, I started this blog with high hopes of sharing with people of like mind.  I am not sure how that is working out.  I try to put this blog out there publicly with as much searchable possibilities as my tech retarded mind will allow me. :) In addition to sharing, I had a selfish reason as well.  I wanted feedback, comments, and conversations.  I didn't care who is was from.... I just wanted to hear something, from anyone, about what they thought was happening in their lives compared to mine.  They could cuss me, praise me, uplift me or tear me down.  I just want to hear from others.  Except for a very very select few, this is NOT happening.
I do realize that I am not of what people consider "normal".  I believe that people are afraid to tell what they really think or perhaps (because of the blog's weird content), they don't even know what to say.  All of this I understand.  However still, it would cool to get an anonymous message that says, "WTF?, what are you smoking?" or "You are going to die and go to Hell. Jesus saves." or "Right on, sister!"....or even "Ummm...?????...I don't even know how to reply to that...there are no words to express my confusion."
Anyhow. It is what it is and I will continue to write regardless.

So now that we are out of first gear...I will shift into second gear.
I have experienced some very  odd and painful things in past week.  I am reluctant to talk about them with great detail, but I feel the need.  If you are reading this and you want to know more details, I will be very happy to share them with you in a private message or whatever.
So to start off, I have been having massive headaches. The are behind my eyes with great pressure to point that I cant stand to even open them...let alone read, watch TV or look at the computer screen for more than a few minutes.  In the past week, I have had a least three instances of these headaches that have lasted for more than 6 hours.  At first I thought it was allergies. So I went to the doctor and refilled my allergy medications.  This didn't help and no amount of ibuprofen, acetaminophen or naproxen have even touched the pain.  I really don't like to take allergy medication because I believe that they numb my "sixth sense" (to put it lightly).  But you do what you have to do.  Plus I already take medications for Manic Depressive Disorder, ADD, and Anxiety, which already numb my gift that The Creator has given me.  Thus, I hate to numb it even further. I would love to get off the medications, but I have a great fear of not being able to handle all the Universes messages and the Earth's energy to the point that I might go completely insane. And I know what you might be thinking at this point..."damn...you need to check yourself into the Nut House"....or "damn, you have more problems than Depression and Anxiety".  All I have to say to that is...Have you ever heard of an Indigo Child, Rainbow Child, etc?  That's me.  I am not completely of this Earth.  I am more and I remember things of my spirit that was before my birth in to my incarnate body/mind/soul complex.
So with all this said, it brings me back to my headaches.  I have been working with a certain individual in hopes of The Creator healing his/her aliments and changing some incorrect belief systems.  The Creator revealed to me some extremely heavy things about this person and when I shared them there was much resistance and fear. To be expected, right?  Anyhow, that is when the headaches started.  In addition to do doing remote prayers and requests for healings with this person, I was able to meet with this person in the physical and do a few sessions.  They were promising and at the time an overall good experience for both parties. And so while in the presence of this person, I kept thinking that I had to get away from them.  Yesterday, the headaches where so intense, I couldn't get out of bed.  I spent all day and night in bed.  Today, I am fine. A bit irritated, but I think that is because my kids are fighting. LOL.  So I suppose what I am trying to get at is...can a person's aliments and spiritual baggage be that intoxicating for me?  Why can't I protect myself from this?  Is this empathy? Or is this the way The Creator works through me?  Or is the headaches just the Texas heat and humidity?
In addition to the headaches, when I think that they might be subsiding, I experience severe melancholy along with intense realizations about the people around me or that have been around me during the day. I do believe that The Creator is telling me the truth about them.  And just so you know, I asked for it. I asked The Creator for truth. (My Theta Friends will know what I am talking about).  As you know, I can't go into detail about these things for pure respect of these people, not to mention Love for them as well.

Now I have to shift into third gear.  I had many other things that I wanted to talk about, but my mother just brought some pictures over to show me...and now I am showing them to you because they are so very exciting. (Remind me later to tell the story about my son seeing his "true self" and his "angel")
These pictures are of my son and my daughter.  All were taken in the last week.
You can judge for yourself, but I know what I see.
Please, please, leave "comments" on my blog page and tell me what you see.

Healing The Bottom Of My Heart

A Poem From Me

"Healing The Bottom Of My Heart"

Many tears fell down today
After the anger subsided
I felt it first in my chest
Below my heart

The anger and sadness collided
Like thunder and lightening
A flash flood from a dry cloud
That I thought no longer existed

I didn't know I still felt this
I hoped the healing was done
It hurt the bottom of my heart
In the place I buried it

"Break the cycle"
The estranged one once said
But with what,
He didn't say

These words I have remembered
"Break the cycle"
Change the pattern
Break the chain of conditions

A new cycle starts with me
A pattern of Love
A chain of Divine Protection
Break the cycle with Unconditional Love

Many tears fell down today
Tears of Fellowship lost
Many tears fell on my cheeks
To heal the bottom of my heart

Another Conversation Worth Sharing

Good morning friends!!
I hope that you are well and have used this beautiful cool Texas morning to ground yourself in the Love of Yeshua and Yahweh, The Creator of All that IS.


I wanted to share with you another conversation with a kindred spirit and friend.  Of course, it has been edited. My intentions with sharing my conversations is to share what I am learning.


****************************************************************************************************************************************

Dear Kindred Spirit,I wanted to ask you some questions.
This weekend I was so completely exhausted, but I knew why.  However today is the same and I feel awful.  I have taken it to The Creator a few times today, only to feel worse. My spine hurts, my head hurts, my stomach hurts and my ears are full.  When I ask to be shown why, I am getting horrible pains in my head.  I did not experience this over the weekend.
Am I detoxing from the intense weekend?
Is this what a healing feels like when you body is catching up to the "changes" that were made over the weekend?
Am I blocking myself in some way?
Any words of wisdom would be hugely embraced.
On a positive note....
I was chillin with my garden and loving my plants last night...this morning when I woke up I went outside and all the plants had gorgeous blooms covering them and my tomato plant has three gorgeous red tomatoes, that were small and green the night before. Too cool.
In addition, my cat and I talked a little last night (which isn't a new thing) and he put out the most wonderful energy.  I do believe that he was praying with me, when I was praying.  I have never seen an animals aura before. This morning he was very verbal to me and felt like I should follow him.  He lead me to a few different places that he had problems with.  Turns out he doesn't like where his food bowl is or where is litter box is.  Who knew? 

-Kate 

******

Kate,

 Thanks for writing.So sorry that you are experiencing these symptoms.  

YES, you are very right.  

When we open ourselves up - many things happen and need to be GENTLY let loose. 
So - be very very sure that when you go to Creator you are grounding 1st to 'allow' the excess energy 
- all that is dark and bad and heavy -
to release with several full and deep breaths...into the earth....and stay with this a few minutes.....
THEN - gently - walk up igniting all energy centers. 
STAY in the glittery pealescent light and now breath here until you are fully - YET GENTLY - open. 
ASK to clear ALL in a gently and beautiful way. 
ASK - is there anything I can do - eat - etc. that will make me integrate WITH EASE and LOVE here....
RELEASE the heaviness and irritability of anything that bothers you (and you may walk thru these 'areas' individually!)

I know when ...(text omitted)... I was confused - disoriented - and sort of overall irritated.  I was trying to 'make sense' of everything in my OLD ways of 'knowing how' to control. 
IT WAS ONLY WITH RELEASE and total 'turning it all over' that I was able to breath deeply and allow ALL that was to happen...as it should be.
 When areas in our body HOLD pain or are out of balance - we feel it. 
ALLOW. 
OPEN these areas up. 
TURN OVER this pain to flow freely. 
DO NOT hold onto the pain (unless you have belief work IN THESE AREAS that you need to release.)
Ask - you'll know - "what do I need to 'let go of' to release the tension in my back?

GIVE YOURSELF TIME. 
SLOW IT ALL DOWN (I know this is NOT something you like to do....hehe!) 
Remember - you can work on yourself one piece at a time....maybe start with your stomach so that it is 'not' disturbed with these new ideas - thoughts - openness.  Then move to your back....etc.

My last suggestion  is - get in water - drink water - cleanse with water and very earthy veggies.  This will make it easier on you....as well as being sure you have good vitamins and minerals. 
OH - and try NOT TO EAT after 5-6pm at night so your body is not working overtime.

SOON - when all this part is done and integrated....you will feel GOOD!  Probably better than you have in a long time.
Lighter. 
More easily grounded...

SO - go easily. 
Breathe through
ALLOW. 
Ground. 
Ask 'C'. (Creator)

Blessings and thanks for writing.  It will ALL BE wonderful soon.....LOVE YOURSELF!!!!

FOR ME - even today - I feel lighter - more balanced...and am starting to come 'back' to living fully on the earth.  (This may be something you want to teach yourself thru C (Creator) - how to be the spiritual being that I am WHILE living on the earth - with grace and ease!)
...
(In addition, isn't it) so fun to play in ALL there is....I LOVE it and hope ALL of your blossoms continue to bloom with love and fun!

(-Kindred Spirit) 

******

Dear Kindred Spirit,Thank you so much for the advice.
You are right, I don't like SLOW.  I think that is part of my generation.  The instant gratification thing. I will concentrate on being gentle on myself.
As for the water thing...here lately I have dreaded getting in the shower or bath.  I just don't want to do it.  I suppose that I am fighting something that I need most. I never thought of it in any other way except being lazy. LOL
I have been fighting my body as far as eating veggies.  It has been telling me to do this.  I have been getting very hungry in the afternoon for months now, only to not want dinner in the evening.
The body is so smart.
In addition to all the body things..I have been dreaming...violently. Very disturbing things, mixed with very loving things.
Also, two people have come up to me and said they know me and can't place it.... I didn't know their faces.
Then a person from my past contacted me via email with only the message saying, "I promise to always return".  This makes me nervous. It is a long story...
...
I am feeling better this morning.  I went out to the garden and found two huge cucumbers that weren't there yesterday and noticed that my Crepe Myrtle Tree had bloomed.My daughter asked me to sing to her this morning and she asked to help me bless the Crepe Myrtle Tree.
All things beautiful this morning.
...
In deep gratitude,Kate

******

Morning Kate,I loved reading your message!  Totally 'right on' and fun - right?!?!?!  I know when I found... I all of a sudden found confirmation of things I had felt ALL MY LIFE...It is like - "all is fine as it is" sort of feeling!  Every day I feel a little more and more comfortable with spirituality and "me".When I first met you, I knew immediately that you had those same feelings (like) "Where are MY people?"  
I heard a story once of a little boy born into a family that had waited and waited for him. Yet, when he started walking he was always trying to escape out the screen door.  They had to lock him in and ALWAYS watch him.  When he was about 4 he was able to "run away" again because his family had looked the other way only for a moment.  When they asked him...."why do you keep trying to leave?"  He simply said, "You people are nice and kind but I need to find MY PEOPLE!"  (that resonated with me more than you'll know!) So, in many many ways, I guess, I will always be looking for MY people. Yet, in many other ways, I know I have found MANY of them!...
I am so happy to know that you are feeling better and better....dreams - seeing - incorporating - 'walking on this earth while WANTING to play in others"....this is ALL part of it!!!!  You will be GREAT with it all very very soon...and will be helping others.........
The vibration is rising.....BLESSINGS to you and yours. 

(-Kindred Spirit)

 

Conversations With A Stranger

I would like to share with you, the reader, a conversation that I have had with a complete stranger.  This person has chosen to remain anonymous to me, however was brave enough to contact me through my blog.  The content that I have included is extremely edited for privacy on both ends.  These conversations have touched my heart and have boosted my beliefs of My Higher Purpose that God has for me.  I don't believe in coincidences.   


After a brief introduction, I asked this person if there was something that was needed to be said to me, since this person was the one that contacted me.  I encouraged this person to tell me or ask me whatever came to mind.

Anonymous said: 

"...to be honest with you I haven't truly wished for anything in awhile because in a lot of ways it seems that wishes don't come true. (However) if I could have a wish granted, I would wish for clarity and the courage to follow through (with) whatever path is clarified; if that makes sense. I crave to alleviate this inner emptiness,fear,doubt and pain.  I know I sound crazy but I'm just being honest. Right now, and lately, I've been taking trips to my past through my thoughts and over-analyzing all my mistakes. (So), enough depressing shit. What I really wish for right now is a cheeseburger; that sounds good."

I replied:

"As far as the depressing things....it's (good) to get them out.  You can tell me anything you want, whenever you want. However, I have to offer a bit of advice from experience.  The more you visit your past, the more real it will become.  The more you focus on your past mistakes and take trips there, the more you will bring them into your present life. Don't go there anymore.  It is "ok" to remember your mistakes (in efforts not to) make them again.  But (DO NOT) recreate them in your mind.  Visualization is a powerful thing. Visualize what you want in your life. Create it that in your mind and believe that you will have it.  These things take time and old habits are hard to break. Also, you crave to get rid your emptiness because it is The Creator's desire to fill it that void.  Whoever you believe The Creator is...let Him/Her/It in. I can help you with this. It is part of my Life Purpose and Gift from My Creator. But, I have to have your verbal permission.

(A a little note) (The) cheeseburger (statement was) funny. I don't eat beef anymore...but yes, sometimes I crave the same. So I eat a turkey or soy burger..."

After a brief silence for two days, I decided to take this person up to The Creator.  After my meditation and conversation with God; I wrote  back saying:

"I was praying and meditating with you in mind. I took my requests to the Creator and asked to show me what was missing in your life. I drifted down to earth in my mind's eye and saw you (in my mind's) ... I was not allowed to enter your space/aura. Then from your stomach area (solar plexus chakra) I heard this song....

''head has a hole, 

black as your soul, 

I would rather die, 

than give you control''   Lyrics to "Head Like A Hole" by Nine Inch Nails

I (have) always rocked out to that song (by Nine Inch Nails), but now it's power ...(has)... more meaning to me. I immediately left and went back to The Creator and requested that you be sent unconditional Love and that you would be shown what it was like not to have Hate and emptiness in your life. What is interesting about your solar plexus chakra singing this song is that this is the area (of your body) in which we carry our ego's. It is also the center of our Souls Power and Will. You might want to ask yourself what you are allowing to ''power'' you. If it is hate, pride, stubbornness, etc.....then you might want to reconsider a more ''filling'' food for your soul."

After thinking about what I knew about this song and looking at the original lyrics; it was Trent Reznor's (author of lyrics) intention to express his hatred for the traditional church and tithing. However, I am not 100% sure about that. This is what the song says to me. In addition, Reznor could be saying that he isn't going to give into the greed of money and other dark entities and ideals that serve no purpose except for having control of others.  SongFacts: Opinions about song "Head Like A Hole" by Nine Inch Nails


Anonymous wrote back:

"What's weird about you're last e-mail is that I was listening to that song earlier in the day. (By the way), it's "head like a hole" (not "head has a hole"). *(Thanks for the correction Anonymous)*

I'd like to hear more about ... (the) solar plexus (and) ego ... "

[Anonymous then goes into a little detail about Hate & Protection beliefs and how it applies to Life]

"I realize I've made decisions that make me accepted by very few people but they are the decisions that I've made. I feel that there are many people that share my same veiws but either don't know (enough) or are too scared to stand up for them. (However), we'll talk (about that) later."

I wrote back:

"Here are my thoughts on this issue....

Love Vs. Hate

Hate Vs. Protection
(Definitions)( I have to define things first, to make more sense of it all, and because I am a nerd like that!)

Hate - to dislike intensely or passionately; feel extreme aversion for/or extreme hostility toward; to detest: to be unwilling (to love); to feel or have extreme aversion or hostility.

Protect - to cover or shield from exposure, injury, damage, or destruction, to guard and/or to defend

Love -  unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another:  affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests;  strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties.

So...if you Love someone or something...you cannot Hate it (or mix Hate with or near it) and you would instinctively desire to protect it from harm or destruction. However to mix a Hatred of something else in the Love of the object, idea or person would cancel out the Love and make the Protection weak.

Hatred is really Fear in disguise.

There are only three real emotions when it really boils down the root of the problem or circumstance. Love, Fear and Sorrow.  

The question is....

Do you want to act out of Love?

Do you want to act out of Fear?

Do you want to act our or Sorrow?

 ( Sorrow is a ""deep distress, sadness, or regret especially for the loss of someone or something loved"")

Sorrow is not just a sadness or depression. Sorrow is something that is natural and is resolved by Love with Time and Learning.

It does not benefit one's Being/Soul to Hate another person because of their race or cultural background.  Hate is unproductive and serves no higher purpose.  

With this Hate comes blame. (Blame is ""To find fault with, to hold responsible, to place responsibly on or for"") Blame is really Fear, as is Hate.  What is it that you really Fear?  The extinction of the ...?  Ok then...this a valid fear.  This is where you feel the need to Protect.  But remember you can't truly Protect without Love.

Until you learn to act out Love, no matter what your beliefs are about your HISTORY of your culture, you will find that you won't want to HATE another ... because it easier to LOVE them from afar while teaching yourself and your children that you think (and believe) is better to ... (text omitted).

However, in my readings, I have found that in HISTORY, ... (text omitted)...(some) origin('s) is (are) not firmly known (about)... and is considered a wider variety of ...(cultures)...  So HISTORY has, once again, been perverted because of HATE/FEAR.

So since we can't change HISTORY, we should only be responsible for ourselves (in our present lives).  We can change ourselves (for) future. So...

do you choose to live your life choosing LOVE? 

Do you choose to live your life choosing FEAR? 

Do you choose to live your life choosing SORROW?

I choose LOVE."

I haven't heard from Anonymous since my last message.

The Theta Wave Rocks My World

I don't even know where to start....I have neglected sharing my thoughts and such on my blog for fear of judgement. I think that I am over that now.


First of all, I finished a Theta Healing Class this weekend. I am now certified to practice this and I am eager to get started. 


It was good and wonderful in every way imaginable, however exhausting.  Many questions were answered for me that I have been wondering.
To explain a little...
"ThetaHealing® is a technique that focuses on thought and prayer. ThetaHealing® teaches how to put to use our natural intuition, relying upon unconditional love of Creator Of All That Is to do the actual “work”. We believe by changing your brain wave cycle to include the “Theta” state, you can actually watch the Creator Of All That Is create instantaneous physical and emotional healing."
http://www.thetahealing.com/about-thetahealing.html


To back up a little bit...
On April 23, 2011, I attended a Vinyasa Flow Yoga Class that included Guided Meditation and Vibration Healing. It was lead my Moses from the Green Bus Project.  It was very powerful and insightful. I wept at the end of class as I lay in my Child's Pose. It was a good cry, with tears of Healing and Goodness for All that there Is in my Life.
However in reflection, I had some questions and realizations:
- Where I am from, in respects to fourth Light Density?
- How will I know? Where would I get this information?
- I am a Healer that is in the self Healing stage.
- My children are distractions to my Healing.  This statement is false.  How do I overcome this illusion?
- I am a vessel of Love and Purity detoxing from Sorrow.
- Until I detox and my Healing is complete, will I be able to use my full Healing potential for Others?
- How do I overcome genetic illusions and distortions in order to Heal Self and Others?


Every question was answered in this weekend's certification for Theta Healing.
So...
I know how to get the information about my Soul in It's Fourth Light Density before I manifested on Earth.  However, I haven't asked The Creator and I have decided that I am not ready to. This information is not necessary in aiding my Being in growth at this point.


Yes, I am a Healer in the Self Healing stage, however, Life is a long journey of Healings and Enlightenment's and this fact isn't a set back in relation to My Higher Self's Purpose. In other words, I can put my problems aside and connect with The Creator in a more efficient way to aid Other's in accepting the Healing that God has for them.


I am a Vessel of Love and Purity that is no longer detoxing from Sorrow. This has been resolved.


Through what I have learned this past weekend in this class, I have been given the Tools to overcome false beliefs, illusions and distortions on the core level, genetic level, history level and Soul level.


I am excited about what the future holds and I made some incredible new friends that are kindred spirits.  I am no longer afraid to share my Gifts, Visions and Aspirations with whomever comes my way.


I have confidence in my Intuition and I will no longer brush it off as my imagination.  The Creator has told me loudly that it is His/Her Voice and to humble myself and be happy in The Light Of All That Is. Everything is so much easier in this Light and makes much more sense.

Here are some science facts about brain waves.  Keep in mind Theta Healing and how prayer, meditation and science fact inter-twine. Aren't our bodies totally awesome!!?

The four types of brain waves

Beta waves (15-30 oscillations (or waves) per second (Hz)). This is the brain rhythm in the normal wakeful state associated with thinking, conscious problem solving and active attention directed towards the outer world. You are most likely in the "beta state" while you are reading this.

Alpha waves (9-14 Hz). When you are truly relaxed, your brain activity slows from the rapid patterns of beta into the more gentle waves of alpha. Fresh creative energy begins to flow, fears vanish and you experience a liberating sense of peace and well-being. The "alpha state" is where meditation starts and you begin to access the wealth of creativity that lies just below our conscious awareness. It is the gateway that leads into deeper states of consciousness.

Theta waves (4-8 Hz). Going deeper into relaxation and meditation, you enter the "theta state" where brain activity slows almost to the point of sleep. Theta brings forward heightened receptivity, flashes of dreamlike imagery, inspiration, and,sometimes, your long-forgotten memories. It can also give you a sensation of "floating".

Theta is one of the more elusive and extraordinary realms we can explore. It is also known as the twilight state which we normally only experience fleetingly as we rise up out of the depths of delta upon waking, or drifting off to sleep. In theta, we are in a waking dream, and we are receptive to information beyond our normal conscious awareness. Some people believe that theta meditation awakens intuition and other extrasensory perception skills.

Delta waves (1-3 Hz). This slowest of brainwave activity is found during deep, dreamless sleep. It is also sometimes found in very experienced meditators.

A Vision

I wanted to share with you briefly something that has been on my heart/soul/mind complex.


A friend gave me a simple meditation to do several weeks ago. During my mediations the majority of the time I travel to my women's healing group. 


I see all the women in a circle and I am walking behind them and placing my hands on their shoulders as they are sitting with eyes closed. 


As we breath together we radiate blue and white light. 


All of us together at the same time.


I have seen this light in my hands, literally, after my meditations or after I pray. 


I think that I am suppose to share this with the girls. 


I can't pawn this off to my imagination or wishful thinking.

There are other women, too. I don't recognize some of them. A few are young faces. Younger than me. 

Wallow In A Fabulous Day

http://miracleready.com/blog/

Check out this link to Miracle Ready: Healing Body, Heart & Soul
I am going to attend this class and I very excited about what I might learn.
Blessings to All today.
Today is a fabulous day.
Wallow in it!!

This is My Struggle

The Law Of One, The Law Is One

Today I woke up feeling lonely and displaced. I was wondering why I always feel this way in my own home.  I have no desire to clean, do laundry or any of the other things that a mom and housewife would do in her home.  All I think about is finding a way to be more than the physical; finding a way to be more than what I am now.  I am afraid in this desire to do something great.  I have so many ideas.  I want to reach out to people.  I want to show them what I know so that they might experience the same blissful desire that is so much more than a job, housework, laundry and raising children.  Yet, in this idea, I am isolated.  That is a better way of putting it.  I am isolated in my own home.  I don't choose this isolation, but have to be here out of my earthly obligations. I am isolated because of lack of time, money and something else....I don't know what this other factor is yet.... This is my struggle. 

So to turn the page....I have a few visions.
I have noticed the intent push from my Being and to lay my hands on certain people.  They will talking about something that is bothering them or hurting them.  I will get this surge of Energy from the Earth in my Root Chakra, then it flows up threw me to my Heart Chakra and out through my hands. Then the rest of my body and Chakras flow together and then in my mind's eye I see what is wrong, sometimes clearly, sometimes not.  I then think or hear something in my Being saying to touch them at a certain area, or to massage a trigger point or a certain reflex point.  For the first time, I followed my intuition and did what I was told to do.  This woman was someone that I knew only professionally. She teaches my son a sport.  She was complaining of hip pain.  I kept thinking that it wasn't really her hip, but her body was transferring the pain from somewhere else and I needed to massage the area in her hand between her thumb and index finger.  I asked her if I could and she said yes.  I took a deep breath found the knot and squeezed. She said it was tender.  It turns out that it was about in the place of the trigger point that connects to the diaphragm and the solar plexus, adrenal gland and kidneys.   I told her a little about reflexology and that she could massage her hands herself in certain areas to help her discomfort. She then showed me her feet and how swollen they were. She was retaining water. She said that my hands were hot and that I seemed to be good at it.  I just smiled and tried to send her Love while I was holding her hand.  The next day when my husband took my son to class again, she told him that she was comfortable within the hour of my massaging her hand for those few minutes and that the swelling in her feet went down as well.  I couldn't believe it.  What a wonderful feeling to have help someone in such a small way just by doing what The Creator was telling me to do.  And all the while I was scared to death.
So what is the worst thing that could have happened. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Except the feeling of discord from not following the Voice (a very loud One) and doing what I was MADE to do.

So in these Visions, Daydreams, Meditation Thoughts, etc....I see myself leading...teaching...healing...mostly healing.  First I am healed through the Power of The Creator. As I use the Energy from the Earth and The Creator, others are placed in my path by coincidence (I don't really believe in coincidence) or shall we say Divine Purpose to receive this Healing as well. However as I am having these images, I feel an intense push for time.  The Message says, "Time is short, quit stalling."

To bring this all together...
I am afraid. I am afraid of the consequences of doing nothing. Yet I sit still because I can't get past the fact that I have no training, no money to do the training and obligations at home.  So still I sit still, very still.  I know what it is that I am suppose to be doing. However I feel lonely, unprepared, uneducated, isolated, and misunderstood.

When I was about 7 years old, a woman came to my church that was a missionary.  She came up to me after the service and asked me if she could talk with me and pray with me.  Of course I said yes, I was just a kid.  She told me that God has something very special for me to do.  She said that God was going to use my hands and my voice for as an Instrument.  Being a child at that time, I thought maybe I was going to play music and sing.  But now looking back I am suppose to teach and let the power of the Earth and The Creator flow through my voice and my hands.
Then I learned later that my name meant Love and Purity.  I have rejected these ideas for many reasons until here recently.

I am an Instrument of Love and Purity; I am a Healer; I am a Teacher; Thanks to the Grace, Gnosis, Love and Forgiveness of The Infinite Creator, and Yeshua.

However, I still feel fear. This is my struggle.

Until next time....
"I leave you in the Love and the Light of the One Infinite Creator. Go forth, then, rejoicing in the Power and Peace. Adonai" -- "Ra" from the book The Law Of One

A Crazy Fat Lady

It has been becoming more and more apparant to me that most people dont view the world and life's purpose as I do. I have tried to remain opptimistic because I know what I was made to do, but no one wants to hear about. Everyone is too busy and when I choose to speak if I feel I have their ear they look at me as though I was a freak of nature or a sadly mentally ill child. I know things that are unexplainable. I see and understand the intangiable. All these things are right with me. I am more comfortable with what the world calls ''freakish'' or ''imagianary'', perhaps ''dislusional'' than what's considered normal. What is normal anyway?
Anyhow, I am searching for a mentor, a friend, someone that can share my views and teach me the ways of the Creator and of the Universe. Something far beyond the reaches of church and retuial. I am beginning to wonder if this even exsist. Perhps I am fucked up in the head and dislusional after all. I desire so many things and I know that I can be a special and original Light in a world that is dark and asleep. Why wont anyone help me? Why doesnt anyone believe me that I can see auras and hear and see spirits.? Why doesnt anyone know what to do with that information? I was told one night that I shouldnt share that with just anyone. And I dont. Maybe I made the wrong chioce in sharing that in the healing circle. I felt that I should get it out there. I feel ignored in every way by the people that I am drawn to the most. Once again just like when I was younger my gifts have seperated me from companionship that I long for so desperately. Everytime I experiance this, I die a little more inside. I am tired of dieing. I want to live and share what I know. I want a mentor. I want a teacher, so I may evolve to the Being that is trapped in my body. I want to show the world what my Creator made me to be. But to the world from the outside looking in, I am just a fat, dislusional lady desperately begging for attention and love in all the wrong places.
sorry for the typos. i am typing from my phone.

Where is the Balance?

Starting last night I have had an array of emotions and feelings and I can't quite shake it.  I felt hopelessness for my yearning to grow in my newly found love for yoga.  This hopelessness spread into the other aspects of my desire to grow in my abilities to practice massage, energy healing work and the ability to see and know things that aren't tangible in the physical.  There is a feeling of being trapped in my home life and lack of money to pay for classes and sessions.  I am trying to be where I am and just be there, but I feel the comfortable push to step forward and use my love and abilities for healing myself and others.  A friend of mine said that this is normal and it's just because I am in this stage of life that I have to be in this part of my life as a wife and mother first.  It is taking every breath and every ounce of energy I have to stay focused at home.  I am constantly searching, writing and praying about what is to come and how I need to prepare my spirit and my childrens spirits.  I have an overwhelming desire to share with others about what my Creator is telling me, especially my family.  My children are young and it is hard for them to understand, but the rest is just like trying to share with a brick wall about the awesomeness of the Creator.
There is a balance, I just don't know where. I am so frustrated with all the distractions from what I KNOW to be true in my Being.

The Healing Group

April 25, 2011

I attended a women’s healing group last night.  It was stormy outside; the wind and lightening where amazing and energized my spirit.  I felt empowered to share and to see beyond the physical, but again, my medications numbed my ability.  I felt for the first time a connection with other women of like mind.  My incarnate spirit mother was there and I feel that she smiled at me and understood me and I her. I was afraid at times, to make eye contact with her and I regret it. I will not do it again. Sometimes I feel that the eye contact will cause a connection that I am not ready for, however the connection is inevitable. I was able to come outside myself for a moment and tell her of my love for her from a child’s point of view.  She has a vision of something greater; she has mentioned her dream only briefly and I wait for the right time to ask her about it.

There was another woman with a gifted child and I am very interested in her daughter and the mother.  I feel that the daughter and my son should meet. I enjoyed her curly hair. The Creator is bringing us together in the most natural and subtle way to do what we were designed to do. However the fear in me, keeps me from sharing this with the mother.  I will over come this.

Another woman, the stronger, seasoned woman has some teaching for me and I want to learn from her.

The darker skinned woman, I felt was/is my sister. She was so venerable in her spirit and her physical frame was small and light.  I felt the need to pick her up and carry her. I wanted to brush her hair and kiss her cheeks. Her male companion was wonderful and giving.  His aura on Saturday was blue and white. I have seen him somewhere before. He is so very familiar.

The other woman was a stranger to me. I welcomed her, however we are polar opposites. She reminded me of my sister in law and that was hard to get past. She should stay in Texas. It is the center of the Root.