Messages From The Other Side

I wrote this in an email on August 21, 2001.  I thought it was time to share it.
(Email)
I found this article online. I thought I would share with you because as a person that is a medium for The Creator is my purpose to use my gift from God to assist others in any way possible.
I underlined the highlights and put some things about my friend that has "crossed over" that I know to be true in parentheses.  The article is about talking to your deceased love ones.
******(Article)
Communicating With Spirits by Lori Lothian (Click Here)

In reality, talking to the dead is more like placing a long distance phone call to a third world country--the connection can be tenuous and static-filled, but in the end it is as simple as dialing. On the other hand, going to a medium to talk to dear departed grandma is like placing an operator-assisted call--you only need to resort to that more expensive option after your own attempts have failed. Unfortunately, however, people often seek the assistance of a professional psychic connection before they have even begun to make their own.
The first directive to successful spirit communication may seem the most obvious: You have to want to make contact. Fear, guilt, shame and anger can all get in the way of communing with a loved one who has made the transition from the physical world. Emotions that run deep often act as a self-erected unconscious barrier to not only dealing with grief, but also to making an afterlife connection. When an aging parent dies, for instance, it often becomes apparent which sibling has the most unprocessed "stuff" about that parent. Other siblings will often report dream visitations while the sibling in angst reports nightmares instead. On the flip side, sometimes the lack of contact may also be the spirit itself making a decision that for the bereaved's best healing, contact may need to wait until a later date.The next to thing to remember about spirit-communication is that if you are not listening, you won't hear. Those in spirit make every effort to get our attention in ways that are gentle and non-threatening, so much so that these subtle messages are often missed. Cues can include a ringing in the ears, a fleeting image of movement in our peripheral vision and of course, dream appearances and waking signs.

((**My friend has come through to me as popping in my ears, snapping sounds in my ears, a full feeling in my ears and a tingling in my upper back.  My lights have been flickering on and off in my house, mostly in my bathroom and bedroom.  If you have a cat, pay attention to what your cat is seeing.  Cats are very attune to the spirit world. Mine tells me all sorts of cool things.  My friend and I shared a favorite song that we talked about most often and it has been on reply in my head and I hear it everywhere in stores, restaurants and on the radio.  And it is not a new song.  One thing that I remember most is my friend had/has a dark sense of humor.  He loved to play jokes and tell weird and dark stories in hopes that he could get you to believe them and get a rise out of you or freak you out.  So when he comes through is still communicating in the same manner before he gives his comforting message. I remember saying to him once (and him agreeing) that if one of us died we would haunt each other forever and love every minute of it!!! Lol**))

(Article)
When my deceased grandmother is around me I often know this by the synchronicities she provides. The symbol of the star is significant between us, based on an Avon ring I gave her as a child called A Star Is Born. Whenever she is hovering, I receive an unmistakable confluence of star imagery. I recall one week where a friend sent me a silk scarf with stars all over it, another mailed me an envelope of foil confetti stars and I saw stars in places as diverse as TV, billboards and personalized license plates. That week was an important time for me as I was videotaping a segment for a TV show and was a basket case of nerves. The reassurance from my grandmother was just what I needed to go ahead with calm confidence.
On another occasion, I was in the midst of making an important decision when she came through with a thumbs-up vote by synchronicity: three times in only two days I found myself driving behind a bumper sticker that read Grace Happens! My grandmother's name, of course, was Grace.
Every once in a while spirit will make a grand entrance when perhaps we have been slow to pay attention. One story that comes to mind is that of a friend whose recently deceased father made his presence known in an unusual way. When Audrey's father died, she took home his video camera and left it on a shelf in her living room. One night as she and her family sat watching TV, the camera suddenly began to whir and hum: her father's camera had turned on by itself. Although Audrey wondered whether her father was responsible, she became convinced later that same night when two smoke detectors in the home began beeping the warning beep associated with a low battery. When she opened up the detectors, however, she realized there were no batteries at all inside. Audrey took this as a friendly safety message from her father who routinely used to remind the family to keep smoke detectors in working order.
Communication is always a two-way street and it's no different when chatting with the dead. We can ask for guidance from the departed by simply thinking it or writing down our questions in a journal. Answers come through signs, synchronicities and sometimes dream conversations.

((**My friend once told me that he was tired of feeling "this" way.  He was referring to (text omitted) and the paranoia that came from his BiPolar & Scizoaffective Disorder and being in the AC.  He just wanted to feel safe and loved all the time.  He has come to me in many dreams.  He has told me that he "knows" the TRUTH about everything now, even the little stuff.  The Creator showed him everything in order for him to begin his healing process that most of us get to do on Earth.  He gets to do it in the Light and Love of his ancestors and God.  How cool is that!!?  Also, I dreampt that  he was in the hospital dying and he got to tell his mother everything and die in her arms. He is going to teach me and his family (for those who listen) so many things about ourselves that we never knew existed.**))

(Article)
When my father died I was not present for his death and longed to know that his sudden stroke had not been a terrifying event for him. I also questioned why he chose that particular time to die. The answer came within weeks of his death, in a dream visitation. In the dream my father allowed me to time travel to the scene of his collapse, where I was able to comfort him as he transitioned. In the same dream, I asked him why he chose to die. He said: Because I was tired of worrying. This immediately made sense to me because my father's worsening Alzheimers had made simple tasks such as paying bills and taking medicines impossible for him. Feeling out of control about finances and his health no doubt worried him greatly and departing his deteriorating mind would have likely been a relief.

***********
As of today, September 8th, 2011
So since I wrote this email so many other things have happened.
Over the holiday weekend I was traveling and I saw my friend's last name everywhere.  On a car dealership sign, a ranch sign, I heard it used on the news for a completely different person.  Then when I got home I went to a used book store and was browsing in a book; a slip of paper was left by a previous owner with names and phone numbers written on it.  On of the people's last names was his, as well.  So I bought the book and I really didn't like it.  But I don't believe in coincidences.
I also have had a dream of him giving me white feathers.  It was beautiful and there were lots of them.  A feather can represent truth and may mean that life will be comforting and easy going.  This is a first experience for me. 
In addition, I have seen him kneeling beside my bed while I was reading a book.  It was kind of like he was reading the book with me.  I also, had a fabulous experience while attending a Kirtan at the local yoga studio.  I won't go into this because it is so very personal.  I share a lot of personal things on my blog, so you must know that this is extremely personal.  However, I will tell you about it in a private message if curiosity kills the cat!  LOL


Be well today, my friends.

Blessings 

"in the Love and the Light of the One

Infinite Creator. Go forth, then, merry and glad and rejoicing in the Power 

and the Peace of the One Creator. Adonai" 

Independence, Headaches, Orbs and Auras

Happy Fourth of July!!

I am infinitely grateful for America's Independence and Freedom as our Founding Fathers so dreamed of and planned. I celebrate this Ideal along with the men and woman that fought and sacrificed so graciously for.

It is a gloriously hot morning in here in Texas. The heat is ever so oppressive here and it brings the worst out of me and the kids.  Thank God for the pool!! The kids and I will be staying in the pool and under the comfort of the air conditioning with immense gratitude for my husbands hard work to make the money to pay for the outrageous electricity bill!! :)

****
So this is where I am going to change gears a bit and talk about some things that have been on my mind. (I am shifting out of reverse gear and going into first gear. Gotta back the car up to get out the parking space.)

Foremost, I started this blog with high hopes of sharing with people of like mind.  I am not sure how that is working out.  I try to put this blog out there publicly with as much searchable possibilities as my tech retarded mind will allow me. :) In addition to sharing, I had a selfish reason as well.  I wanted feedback, comments, and conversations.  I didn't care who is was from.... I just wanted to hear something, from anyone, about what they thought was happening in their lives compared to mine.  They could cuss me, praise me, uplift me or tear me down.  I just want to hear from others.  Except for a very very select few, this is NOT happening.
I do realize that I am not of what people consider "normal".  I believe that people are afraid to tell what they really think or perhaps (because of the blog's weird content), they don't even know what to say.  All of this I understand.  However still, it would cool to get an anonymous message that says, "WTF?, what are you smoking?" or "You are going to die and go to Hell. Jesus saves." or "Right on, sister!"....or even "Ummm...?????...I don't even know how to reply to that...there are no words to express my confusion."
Anyhow. It is what it is and I will continue to write regardless.

So now that we are out of first gear...I will shift into second gear.
I have experienced some very  odd and painful things in past week.  I am reluctant to talk about them with great detail, but I feel the need.  If you are reading this and you want to know more details, I will be very happy to share them with you in a private message or whatever.
So to start off, I have been having massive headaches. The are behind my eyes with great pressure to point that I cant stand to even open them...let alone read, watch TV or look at the computer screen for more than a few minutes.  In the past week, I have had a least three instances of these headaches that have lasted for more than 6 hours.  At first I thought it was allergies. So I went to the doctor and refilled my allergy medications.  This didn't help and no amount of ibuprofen, acetaminophen or naproxen have even touched the pain.  I really don't like to take allergy medication because I believe that they numb my "sixth sense" (to put it lightly).  But you do what you have to do.  Plus I already take medications for Manic Depressive Disorder, ADD, and Anxiety, which already numb my gift that The Creator has given me.  Thus, I hate to numb it even further. I would love to get off the medications, but I have a great fear of not being able to handle all the Universes messages and the Earth's energy to the point that I might go completely insane. And I know what you might be thinking at this point..."damn...you need to check yourself into the Nut House"....or "damn, you have more problems than Depression and Anxiety".  All I have to say to that is...Have you ever heard of an Indigo Child, Rainbow Child, etc?  That's me.  I am not completely of this Earth.  I am more and I remember things of my spirit that was before my birth in to my incarnate body/mind/soul complex.
So with all this said, it brings me back to my headaches.  I have been working with a certain individual in hopes of The Creator healing his/her aliments and changing some incorrect belief systems.  The Creator revealed to me some extremely heavy things about this person and when I shared them there was much resistance and fear. To be expected, right?  Anyhow, that is when the headaches started.  In addition to do doing remote prayers and requests for healings with this person, I was able to meet with this person in the physical and do a few sessions.  They were promising and at the time an overall good experience for both parties. And so while in the presence of this person, I kept thinking that I had to get away from them.  Yesterday, the headaches where so intense, I couldn't get out of bed.  I spent all day and night in bed.  Today, I am fine. A bit irritated, but I think that is because my kids are fighting. LOL.  So I suppose what I am trying to get at is...can a person's aliments and spiritual baggage be that intoxicating for me?  Why can't I protect myself from this?  Is this empathy? Or is this the way The Creator works through me?  Or is the headaches just the Texas heat and humidity?
In addition to the headaches, when I think that they might be subsiding, I experience severe melancholy along with intense realizations about the people around me or that have been around me during the day. I do believe that The Creator is telling me the truth about them.  And just so you know, I asked for it. I asked The Creator for truth. (My Theta Friends will know what I am talking about).  As you know, I can't go into detail about these things for pure respect of these people, not to mention Love for them as well.

Now I have to shift into third gear.  I had many other things that I wanted to talk about, but my mother just brought some pictures over to show me...and now I am showing them to you because they are so very exciting. (Remind me later to tell the story about my son seeing his "true self" and his "angel")
These pictures are of my son and my daughter.  All were taken in the last week.
You can judge for yourself, but I know what I see.
Please, please, leave "comments" on my blog page and tell me what you see.

Conversations With A Stranger

I would like to share with you, the reader, a conversation that I have had with a complete stranger.  This person has chosen to remain anonymous to me, however was brave enough to contact me through my blog.  The content that I have included is extremely edited for privacy on both ends.  These conversations have touched my heart and have boosted my beliefs of My Higher Purpose that God has for me.  I don't believe in coincidences.   


After a brief introduction, I asked this person if there was something that was needed to be said to me, since this person was the one that contacted me.  I encouraged this person to tell me or ask me whatever came to mind.

Anonymous said: 

"...to be honest with you I haven't truly wished for anything in awhile because in a lot of ways it seems that wishes don't come true. (However) if I could have a wish granted, I would wish for clarity and the courage to follow through (with) whatever path is clarified; if that makes sense. I crave to alleviate this inner emptiness,fear,doubt and pain.  I know I sound crazy but I'm just being honest. Right now, and lately, I've been taking trips to my past through my thoughts and over-analyzing all my mistakes. (So), enough depressing shit. What I really wish for right now is a cheeseburger; that sounds good."

I replied:

"As far as the depressing things....it's (good) to get them out.  You can tell me anything you want, whenever you want. However, I have to offer a bit of advice from experience.  The more you visit your past, the more real it will become.  The more you focus on your past mistakes and take trips there, the more you will bring them into your present life. Don't go there anymore.  It is "ok" to remember your mistakes (in efforts not to) make them again.  But (DO NOT) recreate them in your mind.  Visualization is a powerful thing. Visualize what you want in your life. Create it that in your mind and believe that you will have it.  These things take time and old habits are hard to break. Also, you crave to get rid your emptiness because it is The Creator's desire to fill it that void.  Whoever you believe The Creator is...let Him/Her/It in. I can help you with this. It is part of my Life Purpose and Gift from My Creator. But, I have to have your verbal permission.

(A a little note) (The) cheeseburger (statement was) funny. I don't eat beef anymore...but yes, sometimes I crave the same. So I eat a turkey or soy burger..."

After a brief silence for two days, I decided to take this person up to The Creator.  After my meditation and conversation with God; I wrote  back saying:

"I was praying and meditating with you in mind. I took my requests to the Creator and asked to show me what was missing in your life. I drifted down to earth in my mind's eye and saw you (in my mind's) ... I was not allowed to enter your space/aura. Then from your stomach area (solar plexus chakra) I heard this song....

''head has a hole, 

black as your soul, 

I would rather die, 

than give you control''   Lyrics to "Head Like A Hole" by Nine Inch Nails

I (have) always rocked out to that song (by Nine Inch Nails), but now it's power ...(has)... more meaning to me. I immediately left and went back to The Creator and requested that you be sent unconditional Love and that you would be shown what it was like not to have Hate and emptiness in your life. What is interesting about your solar plexus chakra singing this song is that this is the area (of your body) in which we carry our ego's. It is also the center of our Souls Power and Will. You might want to ask yourself what you are allowing to ''power'' you. If it is hate, pride, stubbornness, etc.....then you might want to reconsider a more ''filling'' food for your soul."

After thinking about what I knew about this song and looking at the original lyrics; it was Trent Reznor's (author of lyrics) intention to express his hatred for the traditional church and tithing. However, I am not 100% sure about that. This is what the song says to me. In addition, Reznor could be saying that he isn't going to give into the greed of money and other dark entities and ideals that serve no purpose except for having control of others.  SongFacts: Opinions about song "Head Like A Hole" by Nine Inch Nails


Anonymous wrote back:

"What's weird about you're last e-mail is that I was listening to that song earlier in the day. (By the way), it's "head like a hole" (not "head has a hole"). *(Thanks for the correction Anonymous)*

I'd like to hear more about ... (the) solar plexus (and) ego ... "

[Anonymous then goes into a little detail about Hate & Protection beliefs and how it applies to Life]

"I realize I've made decisions that make me accepted by very few people but they are the decisions that I've made. I feel that there are many people that share my same veiws but either don't know (enough) or are too scared to stand up for them. (However), we'll talk (about that) later."

I wrote back:

"Here are my thoughts on this issue....

Love Vs. Hate

Hate Vs. Protection
(Definitions)( I have to define things first, to make more sense of it all, and because I am a nerd like that!)

Hate - to dislike intensely or passionately; feel extreme aversion for/or extreme hostility toward; to detest: to be unwilling (to love); to feel or have extreme aversion or hostility.

Protect - to cover or shield from exposure, injury, damage, or destruction, to guard and/or to defend

Love -  unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another:  affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests;  strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties.

So...if you Love someone or something...you cannot Hate it (or mix Hate with or near it) and you would instinctively desire to protect it from harm or destruction. However to mix a Hatred of something else in the Love of the object, idea or person would cancel out the Love and make the Protection weak.

Hatred is really Fear in disguise.

There are only three real emotions when it really boils down the root of the problem or circumstance. Love, Fear and Sorrow.  

The question is....

Do you want to act out of Love?

Do you want to act out of Fear?

Do you want to act our or Sorrow?

 ( Sorrow is a ""deep distress, sadness, or regret especially for the loss of someone or something loved"")

Sorrow is not just a sadness or depression. Sorrow is something that is natural and is resolved by Love with Time and Learning.

It does not benefit one's Being/Soul to Hate another person because of their race or cultural background.  Hate is unproductive and serves no higher purpose.  

With this Hate comes blame. (Blame is ""To find fault with, to hold responsible, to place responsibly on or for"") Blame is really Fear, as is Hate.  What is it that you really Fear?  The extinction of the ...?  Ok then...this a valid fear.  This is where you feel the need to Protect.  But remember you can't truly Protect without Love.

Until you learn to act out Love, no matter what your beliefs are about your HISTORY of your culture, you will find that you won't want to HATE another ... because it easier to LOVE them from afar while teaching yourself and your children that you think (and believe) is better to ... (text omitted).

However, in my readings, I have found that in HISTORY, ... (text omitted)...(some) origin('s) is (are) not firmly known (about)... and is considered a wider variety of ...(cultures)...  So HISTORY has, once again, been perverted because of HATE/FEAR.

So since we can't change HISTORY, we should only be responsible for ourselves (in our present lives).  We can change ourselves (for) future. So...

do you choose to live your life choosing LOVE? 

Do you choose to live your life choosing FEAR? 

Do you choose to live your life choosing SORROW?

I choose LOVE."

I haven't heard from Anonymous since my last message.

This is My Struggle

The Law Of One, The Law Is One

Today I woke up feeling lonely and displaced. I was wondering why I always feel this way in my own home.  I have no desire to clean, do laundry or any of the other things that a mom and housewife would do in her home.  All I think about is finding a way to be more than the physical; finding a way to be more than what I am now.  I am afraid in this desire to do something great.  I have so many ideas.  I want to reach out to people.  I want to show them what I know so that they might experience the same blissful desire that is so much more than a job, housework, laundry and raising children.  Yet, in this idea, I am isolated.  That is a better way of putting it.  I am isolated in my own home.  I don't choose this isolation, but have to be here out of my earthly obligations. I am isolated because of lack of time, money and something else....I don't know what this other factor is yet.... This is my struggle. 

So to turn the page....I have a few visions.
I have noticed the intent push from my Being and to lay my hands on certain people.  They will talking about something that is bothering them or hurting them.  I will get this surge of Energy from the Earth in my Root Chakra, then it flows up threw me to my Heart Chakra and out through my hands. Then the rest of my body and Chakras flow together and then in my mind's eye I see what is wrong, sometimes clearly, sometimes not.  I then think or hear something in my Being saying to touch them at a certain area, or to massage a trigger point or a certain reflex point.  For the first time, I followed my intuition and did what I was told to do.  This woman was someone that I knew only professionally. She teaches my son a sport.  She was complaining of hip pain.  I kept thinking that it wasn't really her hip, but her body was transferring the pain from somewhere else and I needed to massage the area in her hand between her thumb and index finger.  I asked her if I could and she said yes.  I took a deep breath found the knot and squeezed. She said it was tender.  It turns out that it was about in the place of the trigger point that connects to the diaphragm and the solar plexus, adrenal gland and kidneys.   I told her a little about reflexology and that she could massage her hands herself in certain areas to help her discomfort. She then showed me her feet and how swollen they were. She was retaining water. She said that my hands were hot and that I seemed to be good at it.  I just smiled and tried to send her Love while I was holding her hand.  The next day when my husband took my son to class again, she told him that she was comfortable within the hour of my massaging her hand for those few minutes and that the swelling in her feet went down as well.  I couldn't believe it.  What a wonderful feeling to have help someone in such a small way just by doing what The Creator was telling me to do.  And all the while I was scared to death.
So what is the worst thing that could have happened. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Except the feeling of discord from not following the Voice (a very loud One) and doing what I was MADE to do.

So in these Visions, Daydreams, Meditation Thoughts, etc....I see myself leading...teaching...healing...mostly healing.  First I am healed through the Power of The Creator. As I use the Energy from the Earth and The Creator, others are placed in my path by coincidence (I don't really believe in coincidence) or shall we say Divine Purpose to receive this Healing as well. However as I am having these images, I feel an intense push for time.  The Message says, "Time is short, quit stalling."

To bring this all together...
I am afraid. I am afraid of the consequences of doing nothing. Yet I sit still because I can't get past the fact that I have no training, no money to do the training and obligations at home.  So still I sit still, very still.  I know what it is that I am suppose to be doing. However I feel lonely, unprepared, uneducated, isolated, and misunderstood.

When I was about 7 years old, a woman came to my church that was a missionary.  She came up to me after the service and asked me if she could talk with me and pray with me.  Of course I said yes, I was just a kid.  She told me that God has something very special for me to do.  She said that God was going to use my hands and my voice for as an Instrument.  Being a child at that time, I thought maybe I was going to play music and sing.  But now looking back I am suppose to teach and let the power of the Earth and The Creator flow through my voice and my hands.
Then I learned later that my name meant Love and Purity.  I have rejected these ideas for many reasons until here recently.

I am an Instrument of Love and Purity; I am a Healer; I am a Teacher; Thanks to the Grace, Gnosis, Love and Forgiveness of The Infinite Creator, and Yeshua.

However, I still feel fear. This is my struggle.

Until next time....
"I leave you in the Love and the Light of the One Infinite Creator. Go forth, then, rejoicing in the Power and Peace. Adonai" -- "Ra" from the book The Law Of One

A Silhouette in My Mirror

Two nights ago I caught a glimpse of a grey silhouette in my mirror.  I was very tired and told it not to bother me because I was not in the mood for talking.  So for the last two night my son has gotten up in the middle of night to sleep with me because he is scared.  He never does that.  It makes me wonder if he is afraid because the spirit is talking to him and he doesn't know what to do.  I explained to him to use his Faith, pray about his Fear and then tell whatever it was to go away and let him sleep.  He doesn't believe me that he has that power. I don't know how to get through to him.

Royal Weddings, Bad Moods and House Plants

On a non-spiritual level, I could really care less about the Royal Wedding.  Although Kate is very pretty and her name totally rocks.
******
I had a shadow visitor last night around 10:30pm.  I saw him in the mirror.  However I told him to not bother me because I was tired.  My mood yesterday was not for the spiritual experience.  My upper back was tight and uncomfortable and I couldn't shake it with any amount of yoga, stretch, breathing, or meditation.
******
To change directions just a bit, I am not regretting giving up beef and pork in the least.  Sugar is the next battle.  That is going to be a fight.  I am not ready for that, yet. 
I have decided to grow my hair long and plant as many plants in the yard and have many houseplants. I have visions for a little sanctuary in my front yard. This excites me. However, my husband doesn't like my idea.
In addition I am have trouble finding the right spot in my new home for my meditations and prayers.  The tiny room that I thought was perfect is not jiving right with my flow.  Something is off.  Perhaps I will have my house blessed. I am not sure yet.
So much to ponder, so much to do.

The Healing Group

April 25, 2011

I attended a women’s healing group last night.  It was stormy outside; the wind and lightening where amazing and energized my spirit.  I felt empowered to share and to see beyond the physical, but again, my medications numbed my ability.  I felt for the first time a connection with other women of like mind.  My incarnate spirit mother was there and I feel that she smiled at me and understood me and I her. I was afraid at times, to make eye contact with her and I regret it. I will not do it again. Sometimes I feel that the eye contact will cause a connection that I am not ready for, however the connection is inevitable. I was able to come outside myself for a moment and tell her of my love for her from a child’s point of view.  She has a vision of something greater; she has mentioned her dream only briefly and I wait for the right time to ask her about it.

There was another woman with a gifted child and I am very interested in her daughter and the mother.  I feel that the daughter and my son should meet. I enjoyed her curly hair. The Creator is bringing us together in the most natural and subtle way to do what we were designed to do. However the fear in me, keeps me from sharing this with the mother.  I will over come this.

Another woman, the stronger, seasoned woman has some teaching for me and I want to learn from her.

The darker skinned woman, I felt was/is my sister. She was so venerable in her spirit and her physical frame was small and light.  I felt the need to pick her up and carry her. I wanted to brush her hair and kiss her cheeks. Her male companion was wonderful and giving.  His aura on Saturday was blue and white. I have seen him somewhere before. He is so very familiar.

The other woman was a stranger to me. I welcomed her, however we are polar opposites. She reminded me of my sister in law and that was hard to get past. She should stay in Texas. It is the center of the Root.